Right now I feel like I am right on the edge. It’s like I am sitting on the top of a cliff, teetering half on and half off, ready to jump (with a parachute of course – nothing suicidal about this jump). Just hesitating a little, scared that just maybe the parachute won’t open and I could end up splattered all over the floor of some deep deep canyon somewhere. Maybe even just a little frightened that it will open and I will soar through air, nothing in my way, and eventually land gently in middle of ‘all-my -dreams-come-true’ land.
Loosely translated, that means that we are about to launch the very first issue of Molly and Fox, our eMag for girls of the world – for smart, up-to-stuff girls who want more than they are currently getting from the magazine stands, for girls who know who they are and want to share it with others. And you know what, it is scary. I have been here before and while it started out great, as many of you know, it didn’t end so well. So I would be lying if I said that it wasn’t still a little in the back of my head.
This time it does feel different. Maybe the butterflies floating around in my stomach are due to excitement, not fear. I can’t really explain it but I feel more sure about myself this time. I know who I am and what I want. I have an incredible kick-ass business partner who shares my vision fully, and me hers. We have emails coming in every week from volunteer writers who are not only wanting to be part of our team but are already sending in amazing pieces of work that have blown us away. We have a steady stream of people registering to get their free copy of the launch edition when it comes out on the 1st November. We have organisations like National Gallery of Victoria and Humanitees excited about being part of our eMag. Plus we have worked hard and have a great product ready to put out there.
It’s funny really because this truly is the arena in which I want to play, the place where I have no idea what is going to happen when I get out of bed each morning. I don’t want to go to the same job every day, even if it is secure and I know my wages will go into my account each week. I don’t want to do the same thing day in day out for the next 5 years or perhaps the rest of my life. I want the excitement, the adventure, the sheer terror that goes with trying something new and playing only on the skinny branches. For me, I have realised that I am not happy unless I am in that place.
So a very big thank you to Kim for being willing to join me on the skinny branches every single day and for being OK with not knowing how it will turn out, but knowing that we are going to have a ball no matter what.
I’m now off to check my parachute one last time before I take the leap. See you all at the bottom – or just maybe it will be at the TOP!