I started a year short challenge a little while ago and you know what, it didn’t go so well. I am not even sure why you know. It is like, the moment life starts going well, I need to trash it. I am not going to spend a heap of time analysing why, I have just decided to notice it and take my next action.

I am seeing a Psycho somatic therapist regarding my Fibromyalgia and he feels that it is caused by me holding in my feelings and emotions to such a point that the only way for them to get out is through my body. It’s no wonder I am in so much pain, there is such a lot that I have locked in. Since I started seeing him, I have been drinking more – way more!!! It is like the work I am doing is having my emotions come to the surface and I can’t deal with them so I try to numb them out by drinking. Something that I have been truly successful at over the past two to three weeks. He has also recommended I read a particular book which I ordered 3 weeks ago via bookdepository.org.uk. Now usually they take around 10 days for delivery but I still haven’t receive mine. I think that this is yet another sign of how resistant I am to letting my emotions out as this book will definitely bring stuff up and out for me.

So today I am hitting the reset button and starting my game again however this time I am going to be a little gentler with myself, except in the area of alcohol as I am clear that at this stage in my life, I really am an all-or-nothing kind of girl. Instead of focusing on what I don’t want, I am going to focus on what I do want over the next 12 months.

My goal for the next 12 months:

• Consuming only healthy drinks – mineral water, herbal teas, smoothies etc.
• Allowing my emotions to come out no matter how difficult this might be. If I am sad, I will cry, if angry then there may be screaming, if tired – sleep, if hungry – eat, if happy – laugh. You get it!!
• Meditate at least twice per day, every day because it is what makes my life incredible.
• Exercise for enjoyment and fitness, when I want to, not because I have to.
• Listen to my body and eat accordingly – no diets, no rules – just LISTEN!
• Put the money I would spend on alcohol into a jar each week and do something nice for myself.
• Learn to love myself

So here goes, Day 1. Let’s see what opens up now hey.

– Lee