It is all about me

I used to always struggle with the concept of ‘it’s all about me’. I thought that even thinking this meant that I was selfish and somewhat self absorbed and didn’t care about others. However now I have come to realise that my life can only be about me. I am the only one who has any control over how I feel, how I react to other people, how I am with my family – the list goes on. Plus, if I don’t take care of myself then there is absolutely no way that I can take care of anyone else.

That is why I take the time out each day to meditate and to do things for myself. It is why I took myself off to Vietnam for a month and left my hubby Mark and son Jake to fend for themselves (my daughter Jordan was in Thailand at the time for school). A trip that a lot of my friends didn’t understand. Some couldn’t believe that I would up and leave my boys for a whole month. But it was an amazing experience for all of us. For me, to put myself first but at the same time knowing that the boys were fine (and actually were having a brilliant time in their make-shift bachelor pad – going to the pub for dinner, watching movies that I can’t stand and generally having quality father/son time. As a result they are closer than ever which I think is wonderful for a 17 year old, let alone for his dad.

As for me, for those of you who followed by Vietnam blog post, I don’t think I need to say much more about what the trip meant to me but for those of you who didn’t – you can flick back through my past blog posts and read all about it. I really like the person who came back from this trip. She is more confident, more content, peaceful and a little less serious. It is that person who is now starting (along with her bestie Kim) a  global online magazine for teenage girls. Something I never thought I would do because several years ago I created a launched a print magazine for younger girls called Indigo which unfortunately didn’t make it. We published 6 issues and then I chose to walk away – the publishing industry is incredibly challenging, we had lost a lot of money and we were unable to get investors or advertisers interested enough to get it going. Thanks to the wonderful tele-series ‘Paper Giants’ which is about Ita Buttrose and creating Cleo magazine, I understand that this is a tough industry even for organisations like hers that have millions of dollars behind them. So for us, with nothing but passion and determination to make a difference to young girls and to help increase their self esteem by providing them a positive mag with empowering stories, we did pretty well. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still disappointed with the failure of Indigo but I learned a lot and it has given me a great foundation for our new online mag Molly and Fox that will be launched in October.

Something I would like other women, especially Mums is that ‘it’s all about me’ is not a dirty word. If everyone took it on, I reckon women everywhere would be happier and so would their husbands and kids. It may not mean a month in Vietnam for you but it might mean a night out with your girlfriends regularly, doing that course you have always wanted, taking yourself off to a movie and letting your family organise their own dinner, getting a cleaner so you have some time to write a book, paint your nails or maybe even have a nanna nap. BTW, getting a cleaner was the best thing I have ever done – I hate cleaning and I mean hate it.  So now I get to work on my true love – Molly and Fox while my wonderful cleaner turns my house from bomb-like to heaven. My kids aren’t terribly happy after the cleaner has been because for at least 24 hours they cannot touch a thing – a single crumb on the kitchen bench and I am like a crazy woman. They will get used to it I suppose and you know what – if that don’t then that is just too bad for them (said with love of course).

So, it really is all about me. I would have called this blog site that but damn it, someone else on the planet thinks it is about them and has already taken the name. Thus I have gone with ‘It’s all about Lee’ – equally appropriate I think.

Before I sign off – because it is Sunday, Father’s day and I have promised the family pancakes for brekky. My year short game is going OK. I am up to day 7 and have managed no alcohol at all plus have done my half hour exercise each day. Last night was tough and I did buy a bottle of champagne which still has the cork in it and is safely in my fridge. I am just taking it one day at a time, not thinking about a week from now or a year from now. I still have a fair bit of pain, my headaches are still there but did have a great night’s sleep last night which was a blessing. Am going to continue being kind and compassionate to myself and will see what else shows up.

Have a great Sunday everyone.

– Lee xx

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