Nobody gets it

Sorta like the start of that poem – Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I think I’ll go and eat worms.

Nobody gets IT. It’s strange having an ‘invisible’ condition. I am so starting to get what it is like for people with chronic backache, migraines, depression and other conditions that are debilitating in some way but that the people around you cannot see. To them, you look normal so therefore you are normal. With my fibromyalgia, I can function each day, it is just really uncomfortable and sometimes very painful. Plus you just can’t ever get comfortable enough to get a truly good nights sleep. And to make it even worse, sometimes I wonder if it is all in my head and I am a nutcase, disguised as a relatively normal woman.

Even harder when you have teenage children who although are brilliant (most of the time), they are all about them. They don’t think to see if I need anything, it is just about running them to whatever sporting or social event they have on or making sure they have clean clothes and food in the pantry. And it is probably not their job too but sure would be nice somedays.

So I am on day 4 of my challenge and so far so good. No alcohol although tomorrow is Friday and that will be test day for me as I love to unwind at the end of the week with a glass or 3 of champagne. Have found a good alternative though of grape juice and mineral water, served in a wine glass. There is something about picking up that wine glass that makes me automatically feel better, no matter what is in it. Sad I know but hey, its the truth.

Exercise has been a little harder, not due to lack of motivation, just due to feeling a bit down and sore this week. I can say that I have done my 30 minutes each day and am just waiting on hubby to get home so we can go for a walk now. Fingers crossed the rain will hold out for a bit longer. But don’t worry, I will be going regardless.

Thanks to everyone for the lovely messages of support for me and my year-short challenge. It is nice having you all behind me, especially those of you that have fibro as well because I know you really do understand.

Maybe there is a challenge you have been wanting to take on. You don’t have to be crazy like me and go for a whole year but maybe it’s 30 days of exercise each day, or 3 months of no sugar – I don’t know but if you want to join me for all or part of this challenge, let me know so I can be there to support you as well.

Till next time

– Lee

4 thoughts on “Nobody gets it

  1. Lee, I will walk with you for a while. I begun to walk each day again this week as I had become very sloppy at it and gained a couple of kilograms . I am watching my diet and cut out the wine and I put whatever I want mineral water into a wine glass and its ok πŸ™‚ So far this week I walked 5 km each and pilates yesterday . gardening all afternoon today in a strong wind so hid behind the plants.

    Last year when I had my accident with the cow & Ii had a real insight into being unwell and it took me a year and still some to recover. It was hard as people and friends just get on with their lives and life just keeps on going along as it does and should for everyone.

    I worked out if I put everyone into a pot and stirred it up, weekly, the mixture that came out was the right amount of all the love and friendship I needed and it was lovely.

    I looked ok too and just wasn’t and it felt lonely too and yet I was grateful. Always grateful to be alive and in one piece and I knew as you do that your health will return and mine is very good now and the meditation is brilliant , when I do it !

    Hugh was awesome during this time and now too as were my children and they got on with hteir lives and its ok they love you heaps . Ask them to do little things for you and they will πŸ™‚

    take care, you are a beautiful loving woman πŸ™‚

    hugs,

    carol xx

  2. On reflection I had / have at times Post Traumatic Stress and it happens after a severe whatever for most people. I found I couldn’t be on my own even walking across a street I felt so vulnerable and coming to the city the day I got myself from Clare’s in Kensington to the Beach, was a major break through and I did it on my own and back again . I t was / is a safety thing . I was so hurt and no one really knew as I am up here. I read about PTS and to overcome it I needed a strong sense of self which I have and you have too.
    Anyway today, I feel the unsafe part and walk on through most of the time. I have yet to walk the opposite way from our farm . that I used to walk all the time, as there are cows on each side of the road behind fences and they alway run to the fence.

    Hugh drove me to Melbourne for all my spinning classes each month as I had no strength or energy and the actual class took all my energy with concentration and I was stuffed at the end of it. This went on for the 12 months , thats one of the reasons I was so far behind in my folio as I just couldn’t get going and my concentration with the knitting of the baby blanket was something I hadn’t bargined on at all and I made so many mistakes un did and re knitted so many times and the same thing. The concentration was
    frightening..
    I finished it and handed it in , the knitting wasn’t good and the yarn I was being marked on was exquisite .
    Driving, I drive half way to Melbourne and Hugh does the other and I do feel if we still had our house in Beaumaris I would driving to Melbourne on my own again . We are at an auction in South Melbourne this Saturday so fingers and toes xed as I really can see myself in this little house on my own when I come down to visit.

    At this time you are struggling with acceptance of your health and taking responsibility for your health , takes time and adjustment. Be kind and gentle and loving and allow the support of your family and friends and ask for what you need πŸ™‚

    I am fine and at times I’m a bit overwhelmed when other stuff happens and most of the time now I just plan my day so its do able and I can enjoy it. I am ever grateful for my life and have lots of compassion for me and others and at times its not easy

    I do understand where you are a little as you have your own experiences.

    Enjoy your weekend with your wondrous family and its awesome they have such brilliant lives and its you that has provided this for them πŸ™‚

    ❀

  3. Hi Everyone, thanks for the great support. I soooo appreciate it. Just to let you know I have changed my blog address to itsallaboutlee.wordpress.com. Hope you will all follow me there.

    Thanks
    Lee

  4. Thank you Carol for sharing so much of yourself and getting my world. In you doing this I also get how hard it is for people to be there for strong independentnwomen such as you and I, who often pretend to have it all handled. I will take on your advice and ask for the little things that will make a difference. ix hope you got your little place in sth melb and hope to see you sometime soon. You are, and in my eyes have always been, an inspiring kick butt woman. lots of love to you xxx

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