Do you want the good news or the bad news? I am going to give you both so maybe it is more a question of which do you want first. I have always been a believer on ending with something great. Its why I always leave the best part of my meal till last.
So here goes, the bad news… you are never going to be perfect. But you know what – I think you already knew that, I mean everyone keeps telling us that nobody’s perfect, they have been telling us that since the day we were born. It starts then – the perfect baby who sleeps through the night, the child with the perfect manners, the perfect hair, the perfect report at school… As we get older it becomes the perfect skin, the perfect body, the perfect job, the perfect husband, family, children, home, life.
Now for the good news…
Are you ready?
Do you really want to hear it?
OK, here it is – the good news…
YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BE PERFECT!!!!!!
You might be sitting there, thinking to yourself – what on earth is she talking about – I already knew that. And you know what, that is exactly what I thought to myself on my walk this morning (which by the way was intended to assist me in achieving the perfect body). I even fool myself by pretending I don’t want to be perfect. Then I go enrol in courses or buy books on how to get the perfect body, how to be the perfect writer, how to be the perfect parent and the list goes on and on and on.
I got home from my walk and looked up the word ‘perfect’ in the dictionary. Here’s what it said:
not defective nor redundant, having all the properties or qualities requisite to its nature and kind;
without flaw, fault or blemish; without error; mature; whole; pure; sound; right; correct.
I read it a few times and considered what it means to be without flaw, fault or blemish. It is such a subjective statement. I mean who is the judge, what do they consider to be a flaw. Is it the same as what I consider to be flaw? But here is the dilemma, while I understand on an intellectual level that I can never be perfect (whatever that even is!) I cannot help but spend my life trying to get there.
The other way to look at this is that we are all perfect – just the way we are and the way we are not. I even did a 4 year personal development course that had this as one of its key messages. Yes, that sentence alone did my head it, is still doing my head in. It is a concept that I really struggle to be OK with, especially with my very long list of reasons why I am not perfect filed away in my head.
But think about it for a second… what if we took on that we are already, in this moment, without flaw, fault or blemish; without error; mature; whole; pure; sound; right; correct. That everything is in fact without flaw, fault or blemish; without error; mature; whole; pure; sound; right; correct.
That would mean we are all perfect, even me.
I have been thinking about what that would mean for my life and here are my thoughts so far – I could go for a swim just because I find it relaxing, not because I want more toned legs, I could do a writing course because I love to write not because I think I am not good enough yet and have to learn more. I could take courses for FUN, not to improve myself. I could have great conversations with my husband that are not an over analysis of why I have all these flaws. I could enjoy going out for dinner without feeling guilty about what I have eaten.
I wish I could really believe it – that I am perfect. Maybe I will be able to believe it once I finish my book and the course I am currently doing.